Parenting a child is not easy. It’s a full-time job along with all the other things you have to manage. It’s a commitment you make from the moment your child is born and you become a parent. Every mom and dad has their own parenting styles. Some styles seem to work and some face some hiccups.
Some parents have a comparatively easy going approach but others believe in a “suck it up” kind of tough attitude is better for a child. If a child is crying over a split ice cream or a lost toy, the parents might tell the child to just “get over it”.
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But is this the right approach. Science says that it’s definitely not! It could even cause emotional problems later on in life. A harsh attitude of a parent brings on a harsh attitude in the child too, which is quite harmful.
If a child is already having a meltdown and a parent does not console lovingly, it was much more difficult for the child to behave in a socially competent manner.
Researchers who studied the behavior of 33 pre-schoolers found they had more intense reactions if they parents were harsh.
Parents must remember that children learn from our behavior. They are observant beings who pick their cues from us.
They need to be shown love in their early years so that they learn to give love as adults.
A 2015 study showed that college boys who had been punished by their moms when they were upset had more anger issues than those who had supportive moms. In college going girls, their anger issues continued if they had a strained relationship with their mothers growing up.
It’s tough to console a crying child for something as an adult you KNOW has a simple solution, but children don’t know that. As for telling boys not to cry, the example of the college students says it all. Children, boys and girls, need a comforting hug to make them emotionally stronger rather than a big talking-to.